Moving to The Farm has been our Saving Grace. We have created a very loving and safe space for us to release things that no longer serve us. The shifts for both of us have been big, even ugly at times, but so very worthy of the freedom that comes with letting go. I’m talking about those things where the same kind of hurt seems to keep coming back around, again and again. Whether it is a new situation or something from the past, it all seems to hit hard in the same spot deep in my heart. The pain feels so big I am unable to comprehend anything beyond my own hurt feelings. Sometimes when I am feeling like this I would turn to anger. When this kind of fear is spewing out of me our animals literally run the other way. They will not mask and or take something that does not feel good to them. They remove themselves from the situation. A ringing in my ear and a ping in my heart tells me: I can do this too. I don’t have to hurt either. I just have to be willing to let go of the thing that is hurting me. The lyrics of the song ‘Red Cape’ by Priscilla Ahn, “Yesterday a hurricane had blown away my long red cape and I feel satisfied,…, I feel sweetly released,…, but I can’t wear my cape ‘cause I would be repeating a mistake, I just gotta let it go, I just gotta let it go…”. It really is this simple. I just have to let it go. This does not mean an action needs to be justified or accepted. It just means that I accept control over what hurts me and what makes me happy. When I put the power back in my own hands, I am able to be in my loving heart space again where I know peace and harmony is what I desire in all my relationships. As soon as I am in a loving space, our animals happily return with wags, swishes and kisses. Because when I am able to let go of an unforgiveness and or an old thought pattern that no longer serves me, I am healing myself, my personal state of being; which positively affects me and my loved ones. The more I heal the better the space I am providing for my loved ones to in turn heal themselves and create the space for more loved ones to heal and so on. This positive ripple just keeps moving out and out creating a very loving space for the whole world.
There may be times, though, when the other person(s) involved may not be in a loving space yet. This can be challenging. But I remind myself of what our animals would do, and I remove myself from the drama. And I always send a boat load of love to the other person(s), doing what I know others have done for me to help me release fear and return to love. Then I do a little happy dance because I did it! I did it! I did it! I made the Big Shift! When I am able to experience even one positive shift, I am making my world better for myself and my loved ones and I am also a part of changing the whole planet for the greater good.
I fondly remember the first time I saw HIMEBAUGH on stage. My soul literally wanted to jump out of my body and into his. I just wanted to be close to him. At the time, I was very thankful for my spiritual understanding of music. Because not only did I know instantly Mike is a soulmate of mine, I also understood that through his music, I was being healed. Music heals us. Listening to HIMEBAUGH’s music heals me. I dance. I sing. I smile. My heart opens and this is where I easily connect with a simple truth: only love is real.
HIMEBAUGH has such a sweet way of sharing his music. You can see the joy in his eyes, hear the love in his voice and you can feel the happiness in the way he moves. This is HIMEBAUGH! Through his music, he is a messenger of Light and he definitely shines this Love brightly.
This photo was taken last winter during the first snowfall on The Farm. It reminds me of all the beautiful things that can happen in just one short year.
Looking back on last winter, I remember still feeling a lot of worry about our decision to move to the country. We took the leap of faith, but it felt like we were in a holding pattern, like we really hadn’t started living on The Farm yet. Many of the buildings, the barn and the chicken coop, felt vacant. Well actually, they were! The Farmhouse surely wasn’t vacant, but it wasn’t home yet. You know that feeling, when you look around your new home and see the old space you were in because all the safe and comfy memories you have are still nested there? This holding pattern, so to speak, was really unsettling to me. So I asked for peace and patience. I asked for Me to be peaceful and patient for I knew what we wanted had to be just around the corner. I’m a big believer in The Laws of the Universe and I understood, as long as our dream for The Farm was aligned with Love and we felt worthy of our dream, the Universe would conspire to bring it into reality with us. The worthy part is important here because I can dream big, but if I do not believe I am worthy of the big dream I will manifest into my life what I believe I am worthy of. So what I feel I deserve must match my dream for my life. In studying The Laws of the Universe, I have come to understand that it is impossible to not manifest. We are in constant manifestation. Even by doing nothing, I am manifesting that nothingness into my life. So I decided that I was worthy of more than nothing and I aligned my dream with Love and put my order in with the Universe: I met my perfect mate, moved to the country and indeed, just around the corner were our chickens, garden, ponies, bunny- Life on The Farm! I remember coming home from a business trip to our pony corral and inside stalls. The life that Mike, his dad and brother breathed into the barn exploded my heart. Our girls are definitely occupying the chicken coop abundantly- we got our first farm fresh egg on July 4th- FREEDOM Day! They have been fruitful ever since. And our Farmhouse is definitely home now. I loved our life in the city- but I don’t miss it, nor do I even see myself there anymore. Home is where my heart is and my heart is here on The Farm with my family. Believing we are worthy of our dream, along with a boat load of Peace and Patience has surely paid off!
Thanks Universe for all your help- now back to the dream board because we have another flourishing spring just around the corner!!! :)))
I remember vividly the day I took this photo. I was at Oz Park in Chicago and at a big turning point in my life. Mike and I had put into motion our move to the country. We had planted a beautiful seed of manifestation, but I was feeling a bit discouraged and afraid. I felt apprehensive because we weren’t seeing immediate results, and I felt scared because what if we did?! With a move, I knew this meant I would be leaving my sister in Chicago. She is such a huge part of my heart and we shared eight awesome years in the city, five of which we lived together, some of the best times of my life! And I also knew I would be disappointing my work family. They were my ticket to Chicago, and I am forever grateful. But there was a stirring in my heart bigger and I could no longer ignore it. So I went to the park seeking clarity. While relaxing under a tree, I looked up and saw the Angel cloud. Loud and clear I felt in my heart: Don’t give up five minutes before the miracle happens. Yes, this made total sense! I needed to hold on to my dreams! After all, moving to the country with the man I love was what I wanted very much. I felt reassured my future was safe. I just had to trust the other things would work out. And indeed they did. Even though I miss living near my sister, I know she is very happy with her own sweet family. Work worked out perfectly too. And indeed, my future is safe, as Mike and I are growing happier every day on The Farm with our really awesome animals. Thank you Spirit for showing me it is safe for me to trust in my own heart’s desires. I believe we are all worthy of this knowing.
Our animals teach us so much. With the closing of the year and in light of the millennia, we wanted to share Geronimo’s message: little steps are good, until we are ready to take the big ones. This is a significant life lesson for me, and for others I imagine, because we often don’t want to move until we can leap real big. Looking back on all Geronimo’s little steps has helped us understand the remarkable progress that can be made, one baby step at a time. To help you understand the place where this pony was coming from, think of something that brings so much discomfort and fear into your heart that you feel as if you want to jump out of your own skin and run away. This is how Geronimo felt with every human touch, loud noise or fast movement when he arrived on The Farm on June 10. Today, his entire body can be touched and he loves going on our walks around the grounds. The fast movement and loud noises still concern him sometimes, but instead of wanting to bolt he looks to us for comfort. He trusts us as much as he trusts himself. On a daily basis, Geronimo reminds us of the importance of releasing fear and self-doubt, to stay measured and take little steps until we can step bigger and to trust in those around us and in Spirit. And to realize that this kind of work is difficult, so be proud of the progress we are making, he definitely is. Just look at that big-bold-open-hearted stride of his now! Indeed, his heart is running free. Go ahead, follow in his footsteps, we are!!! :)))
Well, it’s official. The Farm’s Garden is closed for the winter. For six glorious months, we put in a lot of love and labor and in return our garden fed us, our family, friends and neighbors. We are very grateful for all the fruitful abundance it bestowed us. And we look forward to another blessed growing season in the spring. I do like the idea of giving the earth a rest, but we sure will miss all the yummy food. Mike and I started talking about moving to the country three years ago. Living in Chicago at the time, we liked to buy our food from the local farmer markets whenever possible. We did it because we enjoyed meeting the farmers. We found the ones with contagious passion over their products and we shopped with them because we liked knowing the food was touched by their hands and then ours. Everything is made up of energy and it matters the way our food is grown and prepared. It matters a great deal. With love being a key ingredient, I have to ask, where is the love in commercial farming today? Poison injected into our land, crops, animals and water and inhumane care and slaughtering of our animals, this is what is happening to our food source. I believe with all my heart that it is every living organism’s right and utmost necessity to have clean food and water. I also believe with all my heart that this situation, the one we are all in today, the one where it is not safe to consume a large percentage of the food in our grocery stores or the water coming from our faucets is not going to change until we all make a stand, a big one. We can make a difference. For us, we moved to the country making it possible to grow our food. I understand country living is not for everyone. So find what is best for you. There are many options available: buy local as much as possible and stay clear of processed foods, buy whole and organic, plant a garden on your rooftop, deck or indoors. If you have a little bit of a yard, turn your grass into a bountiful food source for you and your family with a yard garden. Talk with local farmers and grocers and voice your concerns and desire for safe and healthy food. Start petitions/causes in your community. I know it seems like a lot of work. Trust me; we have wanted to ignore this too and we did for many years. But now our hearts are telling us that if we do not make this shift in consciousness, the innocent ones, our children, our animals and our land, suffer even more. It is one thing to mess up our own lives, but to take away the purity of another generation is just plan selfish and stupid (period)! We believe in Love, and know with all our heart, that together we can do this: we shift our food and water source back to that of Love being a key ingredient. We hope you believe too.
We take a lot of walks around The Farm every day. The day this photo was taken was no different. However, if the camera was on panoramic and a timer you would have seen a few dear singer-songwriter friends, along with Dusty and the chickens. We love our walks. Sometimes we take the ponies down the frontage road and we often get a honk or two with smiles and waves as the vehicles traveling on the highway pass us by. Yesterday, I told HIMEBAUGH what I say quietly in my heart when we take our walks down the road. Of course! he is doing the same thing. We hope that seeing us walking- with two ponies, a couple a dogs, a kitty and on some occasions a few chickens (we haven’t worked a way for Bun Bun to join us yet, but we will!) brings a huge swell of joy in your heart and inspires you to connect with something you love, a passion that has gone along the wayside because, well, life gets so darn busy if we don’t take the time. Living on The Farm has inspired us to take the time for the things we love. We hope you feel inspired too.
This was left here by the family that had graced this land since the 1930’s ~ living, laughing and loving. As I sat on the front steps this morning where this inscription now sits, enjoying a cup of joe with Dusty on my right, Bun Bun on my left, Denver on my feet and Lucy behind me, I was reminded that indeed love never fails. I prayed for a soulmate to celebrate life with, I prayed and I asked the universe to fill in where I may have over looked. I got my soulmate, and the universe filled in so beautifully ~ Daisy Dickens, Dustina Aguilera, John Denver, Tom Clancy, the girls, Princess Bella, GERONIMO and Bun Bun ~ all of us together on The Farm. Love Never Fails.
The Farm ~ Happy Anniversary!!!
This photo was taken Labor Day 2011, which was the weekend we moved to The Farm. It is really amazing how many things have changed in just one year. When HIMEBAUGH and I, along with Daisy, Dusty and jj, first moved in there was one squirrel on The Farm and he tried to show HIMEBAUGH who was boss of the land by tossing his eaten corncobs at him. Seriously, this happened. But soon the wild animal(s) and the land took to us as we definitely took to them. And by spring we were planting our garden, building fences and had babies galore--- birdies, chippies, squirrels (yes, the rascal found a mate and had adorable babies!). And we extended our family by adopting Denver, six baby chicks and two ponies. The Farm is blossoming more and more every day, and we are so very grateful for the courage we took to make this happen…….
The idea of The Farm actually started in the hearts of two young children spending summers on their grandparent’s farms riding ponies. The youngsters didn't know each other back then; in fact we didn’t meet until many, many years later. When we did finally meet, we shared our hearts and our dreams. And we quickly realized we both longed for something more. We longed for freedom. We wanted to find a place where our hearts could sail. Leaving the urban life style was not our way of escape. But we believed finding a place in the country was our way to freedom. We knew if we could create a space where we both felt comfortable enough to explore our hearts, aspirations and fears alike, we would come to a way of healing where we could be free to live the way we’ve dreamed and be the kind of people we know in our hearts we are.
It was time to clear out the clutter and make room for a new way of living, where intuition is not mistaken as imagination, where meals do not come from boxes or fast-food containers, and where we feel safe enough to let go of the self-imposed heart guards and explore the many depths of love. So HIMEBAUGH and I set out to find a place in the country, a place where we could spend a lot of time with nature to clear our heads, grow our own food to cleanse our bodies, and expand on our love of animals to open our hearts. Our wish was to find our Joy.
In the late summer of 2011, we found The Farm and our Joy found us.
We understand that country living isn’t for everyone. But we do wish for everyone to have the courage to do as we are doing and create the life that you feel will bring you JOY!!!
Looking into the eyes of a child refreshes my soul. As I allow Lil’ L’s beautiful Light to shine on me, a space of love is created that enables me to quiet my mind. This changes the way I look at myself --- the sadness, the judgment, the guilt, the anger --- all the fears are swept away and only my true self remains. I feel so much better when I like myself. Seems so simple, but one of the biggest revelations I have had here healing on The Farm.
In the fall of 2011, Mike and I moved to a small farm in Central Illinois where we immediately found ourselves rescuing horses. The rescue was not part of our original plan, but we felt the calling while doing a search for a pair of ponies we did plan on caring for on the farm. Since childhood, my entire extended family and I have been horse owners. Mike and I wanted to continue this tradition. Upon searching the internet for a pair of ponies, we were overwhelmed with the number of horses that needed a rescue and/or a home.